TRUST

"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough...to be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved."

Very interesting quote, indeed.

"You can be deceived if you trust too much," Hmmm, this statement implies that the author is one who does not want to take responsibility for his/her situation. It implies that one can be deceived BECAUSE one trusts too much, not because the other person is a deceiver... Trusting someone, whether too much or too little, does not CAUSE another to deceive.

",but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough." Hmmm again. One can live in torment no matter what the degree of trust; it is a choice.

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved." Oh boy! How saddening. There is no greater compliment than to be loved, for it comes from the heart, not the head. The head is shallow, pliable, and changes. The heart runs deep, is solid, and remains constant. The head changes WITH the circumstances, the heart remains constant DESPITE the circumstances.

The heartache comes when one cannot see into that depth, or chooses not to. And one who cannot read the heart, will be utterly alone.

I also believe that if one does not trust AT ALL, one will miss out on an abundance of joy. Be grateful for the joy; be grateful for the lesson, trust in Him, and love.

For, as is written, per Paul to the Corinthians...

"So faith, hope, love abide, these three, but the greatest of these is love."

Trust is a choice, determined by one's TRUE desires; trust is for THIS life.

Love is not always a conscious choice; the heart does the choosing; and love is for eternity.

This is just my opinion...I don't know...just had to write, because this quote hit me all wrong last night...no need to respond...it makes me feel heard just to write it...

Kathy60, thanks for sharing.
I agree with your thoughts.

Hi Kathy60,

It is unclear to me where you found the material that you have quoted. It is my opinion that both TRUST and LOVE involve a certain level of choice be it conscious or not.

Infatuated "love" involves a lot of emotions. Committed love is a choice one makes from moment to moment. It is not and should not be based on emotions that change as much as tides flow and ebb, and often those emotions change as frequently as those waves flow. Almost every emotion can be felt within a committed love. It is the mutual decision to work together at building and keeping a love relationship despite how we may feel from moment to moment that makes LOVE lasting.

Trust is something that is often given willingly and solid trust is something that is earned over time.

Too trusting or not trusting enough? That's a subject that will always be open for debate with a plethora of material and examples from which to draw to support either side and everything in between.

Deception and being deceived? That depends on the situation and who is making a judgment call about it. For example, in my own life I am certain that there have been many occasions during which outside viewers believed me to be deceived. Perhaps, just perhaps, I want to believe the best of people and continue to hope that some will allow their better side to win over the deception in which they have chosen to participate. Maybe I am too well aware of what is hidden just beneath the surface appearance. Maybe I already know and just want to see how far some will go with their plots, plans and schemes.

Sure it hurts my life and my reputation, but I have a nature that wants to see the good in people and eventually bring out the better part of their nature if only for a moment or two privately. Believe me when I say that it does happen.

I know this wasn't about me; I am just using myself as an example. I choose to continue to reach out to others with love.

Sometimes we all need to learn to extend love and trust to others in hopes that those "others" will reciprocate in kind.

There is one thing about TRUST though: once trust is broken, it is difficult at best to regain it.

Where love is concerned, it is forgiveness that allows it to continue to be a living, breathing eternal flame.

God bless you, my friend.

Thank you, Navigator.

LAW,
I also trust everyone until they give me a reason not to. In my last relationship, there were many indications that I chose to disbelieve, give the benefit of the doubt, and truly believed that a good, honest woman would allow this person to shine and love totally.

Several really huge things happened, and I was hurt very badly, my reputation tarnished, and I lost a LOT, but I forgave and continued to love and live with my heart.

This last incident was just too much. I was accused of something very awful, and it ended our relationship.

The heartache I feel now lies in the fact that I was honest and truthful, and that didn't come out and is still not out. I have evidence that this person was wrong, and the accusation baseless.

The struggle I face now involves the intense drive to prove it to him, not to get him back, because that cannot happen, but to restore my character in his eyes. I struggle with the idea that it was the Lord telling me(not for the first time) to give up and trying to teach me the lesson of humility. If I know and He knows, shouldn't that be enough? Or is it my ego that wants to prove myself truthful and make me feel whole again?

All I know is that I think about it very very often, and I need to let it go and move on.

Who knows...kind of in limbo right now, and the most important thing at this moment is to get physically well; it is essential in my quest to find closure.
Thanx for the input.

Hi Kathy60 and Angel.

quote:

If I know and He knows, shouldn't that be enough? Or is it my ego that wants to prove myself truthful and make me feel whole again?

It might not be about you/your ego, but just an urge from up above to make others who are important people in your life to realize that you are being truthful and in turn (somehow) help them in thier own lives. God might be using you as a vessel to help others. Only you will be able to tell the difference.
Kathy60, I am sorry that you have been having this trouble and I understand and know how you feel.

Wow, Navi! You don't know how validating this reply was.
Early on, I felt like I was being given a task by Him, felt I was hanging on because I needed to, and I asked God to help me, to let me know somehow if I was doing the right thing.
As the end happened, I began to believe that God had sent me several boats, which I hadn't gotten into, and this was going to be my last boat.
It warms my heart to her someone say that perhaps I WAS doing His work after all.

You are an angel.

dear kathy,

my heart goes out to you and i am sincerely sorry you are hurting. (gentle hug) in listening, i find myself so wanting to stop you from raking yourself over the proverbial coals of life's 'stuff'...instead, i would love to see you raking away those coals and exposing the truth of your worth (which is never determined by other's actions or opinions) and trusting that your wholeness has always, and will continue to always, be intact! may you find the peace and closure you seek. (gentle hug, again)

di

Thanx so much, Di.
My battle is in the decision to take a very specific action or to let go and have a life-altering person believe in his thoughts that I am the "immoral" person he accuses me of being. Down in my heart, there is a compulsion to show him, let him grow from the lesson, and apply it in his life as it moves on.

quote:

believe in his thoughts that I am the "immoral" person he accuses me of being. Down in my heart, there is a compulsion to show him, let him grow from the lesson, and apply it in his life as it moves on.

At first, when I read the opening comments of this string, I wanted to research about trust.

But, I resisted and read the rest of the comments which brings the bottom line to....control


You mentioned choices in love, trust, and belief of one's morality.

Manipulative control comes in many forms other than violence. It can come as accusations pointed at a person's very core of their morality and pesonality. Manipulators seek control over others by bringing them down.

The thing about this situation is that the one doing the accusing, the controlling, and even hurting does not trust anyone, not even themselves. What is worse? They don't think they are doing anything wrong.

Where there is no trust, fear abounds. Where there is fear, love cannot grow.

One final thing, K60, no matter how long, how hard, or how much you try to "show him" he will never "see" the truth of you.

"why do you let him continue to define who you are?" quote by our loveable Di!!!! way back in some very troubled times in my life....tnx again Di. I knew you would be on this string of comments somewhere......

You are right, K60, there is only one thing to do...move on away from it. After seven long years, I still feel that urge to show him.....but alas....he will never see it.

(((((((((((((K60))))))))))))))))

Hi sweet Kathy....
It is ture that I don't know you at all,but I Can tell that you are a very sweet and nice girl.
(I was hurt very badly)I'm sorry to hear that.

for me I believe that(If someone betrays you once,it is his fault;If he betrays you twice ,it is your fault)

If he can't see the truth of you...it is his fault...
HUGS.